The smallest habit that makes a big difference after baby.

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Hey there,

In the latest episode of The Tiny Big Joys, our host Olivia Parker sat down with clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. While the episode covered so much ground about navigating early parenthood, one insight stood out above everything else.

It was about teamwork.

When a baby arrives, it’s surprisingly easy for couples to start feeling like they’ve ended up on opposite sides:

Who’s more tired?
Who’s done more today?
Who’s carrying more of the mental load?

Dr. Tracy shared one simple mind shift that changes everything:

Instead of you versus me, make it you and me versus the problem.

Here are three key takeaways from Olivia and Tracy’s conversation that every new or expecting parent can implement right away:

1. When resentment creeps in, blame isn't the answer: Dr. Tracy explained that every household task has three parts: conceptualisation, planning, and execution. Sharing the load isn't just about doing the task—it's also about sharing the invisible thinking that happens before it.

One practical suggestion she shared was to start the conversation with your own experience rather than blame. Instead of saying, "You never help," try saying:

"I've noticed this new experience for me as a parent where I have 100 tabs open, even before the task is done."

As Dr. Tracy explained, sharing the load means taking ownership of the whole task—from the thinking and planning to the final execution. Simply saying, "Just tell me how to help," still leaves one person carrying much of the invisible work.

2. When conversations get tense or difficult, try dropping the urge to defend yourself. Instead, ask one simple, powerful question:"Tell me more about that."It immediately shifts your stance from wanting to be right to wanting to understand.

3. Connecting with your partner doesn't require an elaborate night out. Dr. Tracy shared tiny, small daily rituals that strengthen connection:

A 6-second kiss when greeting each other at the door
A 30-second tight bear hug
Sitting together on the couch for 30 seconds of quiet eye contact

What I loved most about this conversation is that it wasn't about becoming perfect parents or partners. It was about making small, intentional choices every day that remind you that you’re building the same family—and playing on the same team.

If you’re currently navigating the exhausting early stages of parenthood, I hope these insights help you and your partner find your way back to the same team today.

One of the reasons we created The Tiny Big Joys is because we don't believe there's one perfect way to parent.

We believe parents deserve trustworthy information, different perspectives and the confidence to make decisions that feel right for their own family.

If you haven't listened to the full conversation with Dr. Tracy yet, you can find it here

With warmth,

The Tiny Big Joys Team

Paula & the team

Thank you for being part of our beginning.

It truly is the tiny choices that make the big journey worth it.

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