Hey there,
When you have a baby, it can sometimes feel like there is always something you should be doing to support their development.
More tummy time. More stimulation. The right toys. Helping them roll, sit, crawl or stand. And when another baby reaches a milestone first, it's very easy to wonder whether you should be doing more.
But one of my favourite reminders from a conversation we originally recorded for our Finnish podcast Onnen Kuplia was much simpler:
Supporting your baby's development doesn't have to mean constantly teaching them something.
The original Finnish conversation was with Eeva Itkonen, midwife and public health nurse, and so much of what we discussed still feels incredibly relevant for new parents today.
Your baby already has their most important source of stimulation: you
During the first three months especially, Eeva described life as almost an extension of pregnancy, sometimes called the fourth trimester.
A newborn doesn't need an endless programme of activities. Being held, hearing familiar voices, having their needs responded to, skin-to-skin contact and simply being close to their caregivers are already supporting their development.
I love this reminder because it takes away some of the pressure to constantly do something.
Getting to know your baby, noticing how they communicate and responding to them is already doing a lot.
You don't need to rush the next milestone
Another theme that came up again and again was movement.
It's natural to get excited about the first roll, first time sitting, crawling, standing and eventually those first steps. But faster doesn't necessarily mean better.
Babies develop at different rates, even babies within the same family.
Rather than placing a baby into a position they can't yet get into themselves, Eeva talked about giving them opportunities to explore movement at their own pace.
For a small baby, that could be tummy time on your chest. Later it might mean time on the floor in different positions, reaching for something interesting or playful movement together.
The idea isn't to teach the milestone.
It's to give your baby opportunities to discover what their body can do.
Play doesn't need to look educational to be valuable
One of the things I particularly liked about this conversation was how ordinary so many of the ideas were.
Talk to your baby about what you're doing.
Sing songs, even if you can't sing.
Read together.
Lie down on the floor next to them.
Offer interesting things for them to reach for and explore.
Carry them and let them experience your movement.
These aren't activities you need to add to an already full day. They're little moments of interaction that can happen naturally as you live your life together.
As Eeva put it in the conversation, play is how babies learn.
And perhaps the most useful advice: get to know your baby
Some babies want constant interaction. Others are perfectly content exploring on their own for a while.
Some may benefit from a little more encouragement and activity. Others may need more help slowing down and settling.
That's why there isn't one perfect amount of stimulation, one perfect activity or one perfect timeline that works for every baby.
Eeva came back to the same advice throughout our conversation:
Learn to know your own baby.
Notice what they enjoy, how they respond, when they've had enough and what seems to help them.
And if something about your baby's development genuinely worries you, speak to your healthcare professional rather than comparing them with another baby.
What I love most about this conversation is that supporting development starts to feel much less like another job you need to get right.
You don't have to turn every moment into a developmental activity.
Talk to them. Hold them. Play with them. Give them opportunities to move. Follow their cues.
So much of what supports your baby's development is probably already happening in the ordinary moments you're sharing every day.
And we'd love your questions
We're continuing this conversation in an upcoming episode of The Tiny Big Joys with pediatric physical therapist Kaitlin Rickerd (@milestones.and.motherhood).
We'll be talking about how babies learn to move, from tummy time and rolling to sitting, crawling, standing and those first steps, and how we can support their physical development without turning milestones into another thing to worry about.
So we'd love to hear from you.
What would you like to ask a pediatric physical therapist about your baby's movement or motor development?
Maybe you're wondering whether your baby should be sitting by now, whether crawling really matters, how much floor time they need, whether certain baby equipment helps or hinders movement, or when something is worth asking a professional about.
Reply to this email with your question, and we may ask Kaitlin in the episode.
With warmth,
The Tiny Big Joys Team
Paula & the team
Thank you for being part of our beginning.
It truly is the tiny choices that make the big journey worth it.
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