Hey there,
Have you ever wondered if feeding or rocking your baby to sleep is something you should be trying to stop? Especially when you keep hearing that babies need to learn to fall asleep independently.
There’s so much advice about what we should and shouldn’t do when it comes to baby sleep. And sometimes it can make us question things that are actually working perfectly well for our families.
In What Can We Actually Do About Baby Sleep - Part 2, our host Olivia continues the conversation with holistic infant sleep consultant Lucy Bagwell, this time focusing on practical ways to support your baby’s sleep, from bedtime routines and night waking to those so-called bad habits.
One thing Lucy said really stayed with me:
“Parents can’t be bad habits for supporting their children.”
Here are five things I wanted to share from Part 2.
1. Feeding to sleep is not a bad habit
Feeding to sleep is biologically normal and can be incredibly effective. Lucy explains that breast milk contains hormones that support sleep, and feeding can provide comfort and closeness alongside nourishment.
And just because you might want to change how your baby falls asleep in the future doesn’t mean you need to stop doing something that’s working for you right now.
2. Independence isn’t something you need to rush
As Lucy put it:
“true independence is born out of dependence and true self-regulation is born out of millions of acts of co-regulation.”
I thought this was such an interesting way to look at it. Helping your baby settle isn’t necessarily preventing them from becoming independent. Lucy explains how the support we give our children now plays a part in how they develop the ability to regulate themselves over time.
3. You don’t have to change your routine for nursery
One of the listener questions was about a 13-month-old who was breastfed to sleep and about to start nursery. The parent was worried because her baby struggled to settle with Dad.
Lucy explained that babies can learn different ways of falling asleep with different caregivers. A baby who feeds to sleep at home might settle in a completely different way at nursery.
That doesn’t mean starting nursery will necessarily be easy, but you don’t automatically need to stop breastfeeding your baby to sleep just because someone else will soon be looking after them.
4. Waking more often in the second half of the night is common
Does your baby sleep reasonably well at the beginning of the night, only to start waking much more frequently after midnight?
Lucy explains that sleep pressure is lower in the second half of the night, and babies spend more time in active sleep. This can help explain why some babies wake more frequently and need extra support to settle again.
Of course, frequent night waking can have other contributing factors too, including daytime sleep and possible discomfort. Lucy talks about why it’s worth looking at the bigger picture rather than assuming there’s one simple explanation.
5. How your baby sleeps is not a reflection of your parenting
If you’ve tried advice from a friend, followed a sleep chart or changed your baby’s routine and it hasn’t worked, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.
Every baby is different, and what works beautifully for one family might not work for another.
Lucy summed this up in a way I think every parent deserves to hear:
“You’re not a failure. And how your little one sleeps is not a measure of how well you’re doing as a parent.”
Listen to Part 2
We also talk about recognising when your baby might be ready to drop a nap, creating a bedtime routine that works for your family, and when sleep difficulties might be worth investigating further.
There’s so much practical advice in this conversation, particularly if you’ve been wondering whether something about your baby’s sleep needs to change.
Listen to Part 2 now:
[Listen on Spotify]
[Listen on Apple Podcasts]
[Read the show notes & transcript on our website]
Know someone who's been worrying about their baby's sleep? Feel free to forward this to them. It might be just what they need to hear.
With warmth,
The Tiny Big Joys Team
Paula & the team
Thank you for being part of our beginning.
It truly is the tiny choices that make the big journey worth it.
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