Hey there,
There are so many ideas about what baby sleep should look like, when they should nap, how long they should be awake and when they should start sleeping through the night. But what’s actually normal?
Maybe another mum in your circle has a baby sleeping 12 hours straight. Maybe an app insists your little one should have been asleep 45 minutes ago. Or maybe you finally nailed a rhythm, only for everything to fall apart overnight.
And somewhere between the exhaustion and the conflicting advice, that quiet worry creeps in: Am I doing something wrong?
This is exactly what our latest conversation with gentle infant sleep consultant Lucy Bagwell is all about.
In Part 1 of Baby Sleep: What’s Normal, and What Actually Helps, our host Olivia sits down with Lucy to unpack what first-year sleep really looks like, why it shifts constantly, and how to tell normal development apart from something that might need a closer look.
One quote from Lucy stayed with us long after recording:
“You give the support to your little one because they need it rather than they need it because you gave it.”
Here are five reassuring takeaways from the episode:
1. Waking up doesn’t mean something is broken
Broken sleep is normal throughout the first couple of years. Babies have shorter sleep cycles and naturally stir between them—the difference is they often need our comfort, milk, or reassurance to settle back down.
Lucy also points out that in sleep research, “sleeping through the night” can mean a 6–8 hour stretch, not the uninterrupted 12 hours social media loves to talk about. Normal doesn’t make night wakings feel any less exhausting, but knowing that waking doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong can lift a massive weight off your shoulders.
2. A “regression” isn’t a step backwards
Just when sleep feels settled, your baby starts crawling, teething, or starting nursery, and suddenly you’re back to frequent wake-ups.
What we call sleep regressions can often be periods of heightened development and changing needs. Your baby’s world is expanding, and they may need more support as they adjust. Offering extra comfort right now doesn’t mean you’re creating “bad habits forever.” You’re simply meeting the need in front of you.
3. Wake windows are guidelines, not laws
Just like adults, every baby’s sleep needs are different. Some thrive on less sleep; others need far more.
A great practical tip from Lucy: If your baby looks tired but fights a nap, try a simple change of scenery first. Walk into another room, look out the window, or offer something new to look at. Sometimes, cues like looking away can mean boredom, not necessarily sleepiness. Get curious rather than stressed.
4. Your bedtime routine doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s
Olivia shared that while they tried a quiet, dim-lit bedtime routine with her son, he actually needed to move. Chasing him down the hallway and letting him enjoy some energetic play ended up helping him settle.
Some babies benefit from quiet sensory downtime; others need physical movement and connection before bed. The right routine is simply whatever works for your child.
5. “Nothing is a problem unless it’s a problem.”
If your baby’s sleep is working for your family, you don’t need to start changing things just because an app or a sleep chart says you should.
Lucy reminds us that there’s no need to rush into a strict routine, especially in those early months. If you want more structure, that’s absolutely fine too. But you don’t have to fix something that isn’t causing a problem.
We cover so much more in this episode, from why babies wake between sleep cycles to why comparing your baby’s sleep to everyone else’s can make things harder.
Listen to "Is my baby sleeping badly, or is this normal?" - Part 1 now:
[Listen on Spotify]
[Listen on Apple Podcasts]
[Read the show notes & transcript on our website]
Know a mum who’s trapped in the sleep-comparison spiral today? Forward this to her, she might really need this reminder.
With warmth,
The Tiny Big Joys Team
Paula & the team
Thank you for being part of our beginning.
It truly is the tiny choices that make the big journey worth it.
And if this email was forwarded to you, you can subscribe to our free mum circle here.
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